Oops - she did it again!
How does she manage? Now, judging by the fact that I parodied a Britney Spears title for my title (no, I don’t own the CD. I did once, for about three hours before I broke it up into tiny pieces and trashed it. No, I didn’t spend money on it - it was a “gift” which I valued approximately between argyle socks and a battered map of the Horn of Africa.) you must be thinking I’m referring to Britney herself. No, I’m not - I don’t talk about wacky celebrities. Instead, I’m referring to Hillary Clinton (Hooray! Another unfounded rant by Ethan about Mrs. Clinton!) who managed to win Pennsylvania.
Now, for a word on how she did it. Apparently, she won over the large body of blue-collar “Average-Joes” and their wives. How? Well, I’m about to analyze this.
Let me say, first off, if I was a Pennsylvanian Average Joe, I’d be severely insulted. While Mr. Obama went bowling and ate at a diner, Mrs. Clinton downed a shot of whiskey followed by a chaser of beer. How’s that for an idea? I bet Bill came up with it… “Say, honey, here’s a thought: These blue-collar guys drink a lot, don’t they? Wouldn’t that be a good way to make them think you’re like them?”
Right. Because I want a president like that in the White House. Like I want that Britney Spears CD.
Wouldn’t that be “Oops, we let her do it again”?
Still, I suppose I’d rather have Hillary then McPain. Not by much, though…
McPain… That’s good, I hadn’t heard that one before. It sounds like some sort of twisted McDonald’s endorsement…
No, I didn’t let her. Neither did Nick. But you… Hawk, why did you let Pennsylvania accept her?!
Nobody I know voted for her!
In other news, where’d you get this map of the Horn of Africa? And don’t diss argyle socks, they have many uses.
Argyle socks? Yes, their main function is the repelling of the opposite gender!
Horn of Africa? I don’t rightly remember. I suppose it was one of those gifts that I just tried to forget.